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How can I stop these sexy dreams? |
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Dear Jane,
My husband says that I wake him up every night having sexual dreams
about other men. I don't remember any of the dreams. He says that I am
calling out their name, and that I am always screaming yes yes yes, and
the last thing is that I say f *** me. Now he wants to cheat on me
because he feels that I am cheating on him in my dreams. But if I don't
remember them how can he be mad at me? So what I need to know is what
can I do to remember the dreams? Or is there anything that I can do to
stop the dreams?
LaTasha
Dear LaTasha,
Of
course it's ridiculous for your husband to cheat on you because of what
he thinks is happening in your dreams! You can't control your dreams.
He CAN control his behaviour.
Is there anything you can do to
stop the dreams? Having more sex with your husband might have an
effect. But it isn't guaranteed, because everyone --
men and women -- is in a state of arousal during dreaming. You may have
noticed that your husband usually has a hard on when he dreams. Yet
this does not mean that he's dreaming about sex.
Since men certainly have sexual dreams, your husband included, you
may like to ask him why you shouldn't cheat on him when he surely has
occasionally cheated on you in his sleep!
To remember your
dreams, it can help to increase your intake of B vitamins, especially
vitamin B6. (When people say they practically never dream, it is
usually a sign that they are deficient in vitamin B6.) If so you may
like to try taking a B-complex pill at night.
But the most
interesting question about your dreams is -- who they are really about?
Some believe that when you dream of a person, they are nearly always
standing in for another person. Just as most things in dreams are
expressed in metaphors and symbols, so, often, the actual people who
appear in them are disguised. So it may very well be that you're really
dreaming about sex with your husband! And perhaps the
hidden message is that you would like more physical closeness with him.
Has he thought of making love to you when you're having one of these
dreams?
If you wake up feeling refreshed and alert -- great. If
you normally feel groggy and sluggish in the morning, and there is no
obvious reason for this like chronic tiredness or a hangover, you may
like to try one of the formulations designed to help you have a good night's sleep. Your health food store will have some
suggestions.
If you go to sleep with your head awash with unresolved issues, you
will certainly dream too much, maybe too vividly, and your dreams may
be disturbing or distressing, leaving you feeling tired in the morning.
You may not remember any dreams at all, but they'll exhaust you all the same. Anything which clears your mind and sorts out these unresolved issues
will lower stress and help you dream more calmly.
All the best
Jane
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